![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm looking at all this laundry that needs to be done, and I just can't motivate myself to do it. I've been staring at the walls, trying to lose myself in movies... I was up until 4:30am last night, because I couldn't sleep. So I just sat up and tried to lose myself in mindless shit until I finally was able to sleep.
Looking back at the interview I had at Rosemont High, I can see where I fucked it up. I misheard a couple of questions, in that I heard the words, but I interpreted the question differently than I ought to have, and answered a related question. Also, once I went a little far in my answer, and if you don't know me, I'd come off as a dictatorial teacher more concerned with order than respecting my students. Nobody wants to hire that kind of teacher. And it's really too bad, because the more I learned about that school, and after meeting the principal and head of the English department, I really wanted to teach there. Had they hired me, I'd have stayed with them for possibly my entire career.
I know they (the Impact administrators) keep telling us that last year, most of their interns had no position at this time, but I've now interviewed at pretty much every SCUSD school that was looking, and nothing. And the school whose head-of-department told me I was great in the interview, and only not hired because someone else was a better fit for that position, just posted two more openings. If I was as good as they said, wouldn't they consider calling me instead of opening the jobs up and going through interviews again? I don't know, maybe they have to. But it's not fun. And it makes it difficult to stay motivated and not regard the pre-service course as a colossal waste of time and money. My wife has dealt with three months of a problematic financial situation so we could pay for this course, and what's it brought us? A depressed Michael and an Elli at her wits' end.
As for non-SCUSD schools, I can't even to get an interview with anyone else. Well, that's not entirely true; I have a "provisional interview" (whatever the hell that means) on Monday morning in Davis. And while I'd love to get into the Davis school district, and may have a leg up on other applicants to that school because of my business background, I'm not convinced that I agree with the school's philosophy on school reform (it's a public school, but based on a newer form of assessment and management that I'm not entirely sure I believe is a good idea). On the other hand, I really just have to get a job and get through a year at least, and two at most, before I can apply to other schools. (I'm in a two-year program, but I don't have to stay at the same school for two years; often interns aren't re-hired and move to new schools in their second year).
But outside of the Davis interview, the other districts I'm looking at every single day either never post anything, or don't respond to my application. C'est la vie.
I know it's not too late, but I feel like the music is about to stop, and I'm going to be the one guy without a seat. And while I am, in the end, ok with substitute teaching for the next year, the fact is that that will delay my credential at least a year, I won't go through the program with the peers I've come to adore in my cohort, and I just... I hate this. If I have to go through this, and then go back to grad school and just do the traditional program, well, I will, but I won't like it.
Job-searching has never been easy for me, but with this it's different. This is what I've always wanted to do, it's what has driven me for years. Even when I was at EMH, I knew I was just paying off my debts with that job, that as soon as I was out of the financial mess I'd caused myself that I was going back to school. And I did it. I went back to school, I got amazingly good grades, I graduated with the stupid silver cord, and it means nothing. Every principal I interview knows that I'm there because I have the skills and the knowledge; so what about me is lacking? It's very, very hard for me not to take it personally. I'm trying, but I'm not succeeding.
One of the people I interviewed with said there was a shortage of English teachers in the central valley. I'm guessing it can't be that bad a shortage. A couple of the guys in my cohort haven't even gotten interviews.
Looking back at the interview I had at Rosemont High, I can see where I fucked it up. I misheard a couple of questions, in that I heard the words, but I interpreted the question differently than I ought to have, and answered a related question. Also, once I went a little far in my answer, and if you don't know me, I'd come off as a dictatorial teacher more concerned with order than respecting my students. Nobody wants to hire that kind of teacher. And it's really too bad, because the more I learned about that school, and after meeting the principal and head of the English department, I really wanted to teach there. Had they hired me, I'd have stayed with them for possibly my entire career.
I know they (the Impact administrators) keep telling us that last year, most of their interns had no position at this time, but I've now interviewed at pretty much every SCUSD school that was looking, and nothing. And the school whose head-of-department told me I was great in the interview, and only not hired because someone else was a better fit for that position, just posted two more openings. If I was as good as they said, wouldn't they consider calling me instead of opening the jobs up and going through interviews again? I don't know, maybe they have to. But it's not fun. And it makes it difficult to stay motivated and not regard the pre-service course as a colossal waste of time and money. My wife has dealt with three months of a problematic financial situation so we could pay for this course, and what's it brought us? A depressed Michael and an Elli at her wits' end.
As for non-SCUSD schools, I can't even to get an interview with anyone else. Well, that's not entirely true; I have a "provisional interview" (whatever the hell that means) on Monday morning in Davis. And while I'd love to get into the Davis school district, and may have a leg up on other applicants to that school because of my business background, I'm not convinced that I agree with the school's philosophy on school reform (it's a public school, but based on a newer form of assessment and management that I'm not entirely sure I believe is a good idea). On the other hand, I really just have to get a job and get through a year at least, and two at most, before I can apply to other schools. (I'm in a two-year program, but I don't have to stay at the same school for two years; often interns aren't re-hired and move to new schools in their second year).
But outside of the Davis interview, the other districts I'm looking at every single day either never post anything, or don't respond to my application. C'est la vie.
I know it's not too late, but I feel like the music is about to stop, and I'm going to be the one guy without a seat. And while I am, in the end, ok with substitute teaching for the next year, the fact is that that will delay my credential at least a year, I won't go through the program with the peers I've come to adore in my cohort, and I just... I hate this. If I have to go through this, and then go back to grad school and just do the traditional program, well, I will, but I won't like it.
Job-searching has never been easy for me, but with this it's different. This is what I've always wanted to do, it's what has driven me for years. Even when I was at EMH, I knew I was just paying off my debts with that job, that as soon as I was out of the financial mess I'd caused myself that I was going back to school. And I did it. I went back to school, I got amazingly good grades, I graduated with the stupid silver cord, and it means nothing. Every principal I interview knows that I'm there because I have the skills and the knowledge; so what about me is lacking? It's very, very hard for me not to take it personally. I'm trying, but I'm not succeeding.
One of the people I interviewed with said there was a shortage of English teachers in the central valley. I'm guessing it can't be that bad a shortage. A couple of the guys in my cohort haven't even gotten interviews.
Tags: