I looked up the requirements for my major and then the requirements for a teacher's credential. Oi. That's going to be some work. The Major requirement doesn't scare me, but getting into the teacher prep program looks kinda scary. But I can handle it.
I've discovered that I'm likely to be on KidWatch for the rest of the month. Karla gets back from a seminar in Las Vegas on the 18th (she leaves this afternoon), then flies straight to LA. John comes home the 19th, but he has to work, so I'll still be on KidWatch on alternate days, then he'll go back to LA and Karla may or may not come back.
I will get Memorial Day weekend off, because Karla has decided not to cancel the planned camping trip -- John will stay with his mother in LA and Karla and her neighbour/best friend will take their combined kids camping -- it's a trip the kids look forward to all year, and Karla doesn't want them to suffer too much when its bad enough their grandmother is dying. My birthday, however, promises to be pretty dull, I'm guessing. I'm ok with that, though -- more important things are going on. I'll be with my sisters, and probably Elli, and that's enough for me.
Prognosis for June's health is two weeks, but she may hold on longer. She's not doing well, physically or emotionally, but her sense of humor is still intact, thankfully. After a particularly bad coughing fit, she joked "Now I need a cigarette." (Smoking's what got her into this, and she knows it.)
Dealing with two kids who KNOW their grandma is dying is not easy. They know what's going on, but they're too far away to do anything, so they come to me with their grief. I've counseled them so much in the past week it's kind of scary. Blair broke down on me the other night; she's always been really close to June, and it breaks my heart that she has to go through this now.
I got lucky, I guess -- though I felt grief for my grandmother and mother, I was only five and six years old when they died. My memories of that time aren't so good. Blair and Brooke will remember all this with perfect clarity.
It's also hard seeing that, unlike the usual Babysitting job, I'm doing more than watching them. I'm like a dad right now -- I get them up, I feed them, get them to school, then spend the day studying for my final, then I pick them up from school, get Brooke to her tutoring, get Blair to her swim team practice, pick them both up, feed them, oversee their homework, and put them to bed. It's not easy (though I suppose it's practice for the future of my own life).
Karla said last night she couldn't do this without me. Well, the same goes for me. I could not do this without the support of Elizabeth, the best girlfriend on the planet, who has been there for me both on the phone and in person to help out when I needed her. Without her, I'd have spent Saturday night locked in a room, ignoring the girls, while I stressed out.
Karla's friend Lynn, who lives down the street, has volunteered to take the girls for a night if and when I need a break from it. I don't want to saddle her with them on a school night (her kids don't go to the same schools as my sisters), but I'm thinking I'll ask her to take them on Saturday next, so I can have part of the weekend off.
Last night I went to dinner with Karla, she told me that Max said to her last week that when he died, his wife could grieve and move on, but until then he was just a black hole sitting in the middle of the living room. Doctors had said he had until October, maybe December. We think he willed himself gone to give his wife her life back. He was that kind of man.
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