(no subject)

When we think about being famous, especially when we think about acting, we tend to think of the positive aspects -- the fame, the fans, the money. We rarely think about the negative aspects stardom brings -- the inability to simply walk over to the neighborhood market, the nearly complete lack of privacy, etc etc.

Is it worth the tradeoff, I wonder? After all, celebrities are people, too. I wonder how many of them wish they'd become something else -- a teacher, or something?

Today, in a nutshell

The Good

I get to see Elizabeth tonight!

New Angel and Smallville!

I'm alive.

The Bad

I'm tired.

I'm financially a mess, which always depresses me.

I'm just generally a mess right now.

I have to be at work when I really didn't want to leave the snuggly warmness of Shinji curled up against me.

The Ugly

I have a caffeine withdrawal headache the size of Jupiter.

It's not even 9:00am as I type this and there is NO WORK in the queue.

I get paid peanuts.

No work means I get to be all introspective for a few minutes.

Sometimes I forget that I need to talk to people, too.

There are things in my head I can't deal with completely, but I don't want to burden others with my problems, especially when so many have problems of their own, and so I dwell on them, or repress them in an attempt to be the new happy shiny Michael all the time. And I forget that I don't have to be happy all the time, that it's ok to have off days, it's ok to just be so tired and so stressed out that sleep is all I want.

I love this wonderful woman who loves me for who and what I am -- the complete dork as well as the reasonably intelligent man -- and yet there are things in my head I won't tell her. They're not about her, or anything to do with her, but they're problems in me, problems I'm having, and on some stupid dumbass level that I recognize but cannot yet overcome, I feel like talking to her about them is a bad thing, that I'll be dumping my shit on my girlfriend when I ought to be sucking it up and coping. So I write entries in LJ only non-locals can see, because for some reason it's not ok to dump my shit on the people who know me, but it is ok to dump it on people who, at least in my perception, don't (and shouldn't) give a shit beyond the "oh, that sucks" level.

You know what I just noticed? I use the double dash (--) too much. My journalism teacher back in high school tried to break me of using them so much. I guess she failed. And I cannot decide whether that is a good or a bad thing. Something to watch, at any rate.

(no subject)

I'm beginning to identify with Steve of Coupling way too much lately. I mean, I hear his voice when I'm ranting.