(no subject)

I was driving home from class yesterday, exhausted and feeling some pretty high levels of self-loathing, when I remembered something an ex-girlfriend once said to me*:

"The moment I first saw you sitting there, even before I was introduced to you, I knew I had to have you."

Now, that relationship ended . . . not with anger and loathing, but with a "Yeah, it isn't going to work" from both of us. I haven't seen her in years, but just remembering that statement made me happier. Sure, that was nearly ten years ago, and sure, I was about 100 lbs lighter at the time -- but considering the negative self-image I carry around even when slim, remembering that someone once felt desire for me made me feel better.

It's a sad fact -- I know I'm in a fairly good relationship, and Mike does desire me -- but I'll never trust the desire or the statements of people I'm with at the time. I always feel, in the back of my head, that they're just saying that because they have to, being in a relationship with me. I mean, what nimrod is going to say to his wife/gf/bf/whatever "I love you, but you are UGLY!"


*Ten points if you can name who said it.

(no subject)

Fair Warning:

I am tired. Exhausted, in fact, to levels rarely seen. This means my reactions to things are a bit off, and tiny things are likely to seem bigger to me until I get some sleep (hopefully tonight). I'm aware of this and working on minimizing it.

The point: Ask me no really important questions.

Random post

Victorian England would make me insane.

Edwardian England, however, I'd LOVE to visit.

(no subject)

Angel was a shocker. From the quick resolution of the Jasmine issue (thank the Nine, I was getting sick to death of her) to what's coming next week, it looks spooky as hell. Especially considering what Boreanaz has said about what will come in the finale. Lyla's appearance was a "Whatthehell?" moment, indeed.

Oh, and that awful song UPN is playing for the "countdown to the end" over on Buffy? I hate it. Hateithateithateit. Sick of it. Pointless, nothing to do with the show, blech.

(no subject)

I want to go here soon.

I WILL go there soon.

Old-growth redwoods are one of the things I love most about California.

And on a geek note -- that's the forest in which Return of the Jedi's Endor scenes were filmed.

Who wants to go Ewok hunting? ;)

I'd say "Let's go camping May 24-26" except that A) It would deprive Terri of hanging with us that weekend, and B) My family will be camping until May 26 and thus I won't be able to borrow their tent/sleeping bags.

But I WILL be doing it this year. Mark my words.