Nov. 26th, 2010 02:43 pm
Bad Day Number 2.
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johnstonmrThere are Four generally Bad Days per year; days when I don't want to get out of bed. Some years I get lucky, and get through half the day without thinking about the Thing that makes that day Bad. Today I made it until about noon. Thankfully Tegan has made it less Bad than it normally is.
For the record, those days are:
1. Labor Day: The day my mother died.
Technically, my mom died on September 7th, but it was Labor Day that year, so my aunt and I tend to think of it in that way.
2. November 26th: My father's birthday
I don't really remember my dad, but I remember a lack: I've keenly felt his absence all my life. Today I feel like a shit--I want to call my uncle, to talk to him, but I'm chicken. Me, a grown man of nearly 40, and I'm terrified my uncle will be mad because I haven't talked to him in a long time. Feh.
3. December 7th: The day my dad died.
I found out this date several years after it happened, but it still feels like yesterday sometimes. I know it's weird; most people mourn because something they had was taken from them; I mourn because something I never had, but craved, was taken from me.
4. February 21: My mom's birthday This one comes last even though it's first chronologically, because while it's a little sad, it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't make me nearly as sad as the others.
For the record, those days are:
1. Labor Day: The day my mother died.
Technically, my mom died on September 7th, but it was Labor Day that year, so my aunt and I tend to think of it in that way.
2. November 26th: My father's birthday
I don't really remember my dad, but I remember a lack: I've keenly felt his absence all my life. Today I feel like a shit--I want to call my uncle, to talk to him, but I'm chicken. Me, a grown man of nearly 40, and I'm terrified my uncle will be mad because I haven't talked to him in a long time. Feh.
3. December 7th: The day my dad died.
I found out this date several years after it happened, but it still feels like yesterday sometimes. I know it's weird; most people mourn because something they had was taken from them; I mourn because something I never had, but craved, was taken from me.
4. February 21: My mom's birthday This one comes last even though it's first chronologically, because while it's a little sad, it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't make me nearly as sad as the others.