Grandpa Watch, Day ... I forget.

[johnstonmr]

I went to see my grandfather last night. It's a frustrating experience,
because he can't communicate. So I just babble on about whatever is going
on in life part of the time, and just sit with him part of the time. He was
trying to communicate before, but all he can do is make unintelligible
sounds, so now he doesn't really bother. He'll try for a few seconds, then
get frustrated and stop.

We're not sure he's as cognizant as he appears to be; he answers questions
inconsistently. As an example, he was making head motions toward the nurses
in the hall, and looking distressed. I asked if he needed the nurse, and he
shook his head "no" and kept nodding towards them. I asked again, and he
nodded "yes." I asked again, just to be sure, and he shook his head "no."
I was concerned, so I asked him a series of yes/no questions about his life
and our family--and he got a fair chunk of them wrong. This is consistent
with what the Neurologist told us to expect; the parts of grandpa's brain
that process language are all messed up. About the best we get now is that
he clearly knows we're family.

He's losing a lot of weight; he simply can't get enough nutrition from
eating (both because he can't eat certain foods now, even pureed, and
because he can't manage to eat enough even if it was fed to him; his body
just won't take it). My aunt signed a DNR for him in accordance with his
wishes, and though no final decision has been made, it seems he'll need a
feeding tube, which everyone in the family knows he would refuse.

A few weeks back it seemed I knew where this was all headed, and how soon it
was likely to get there. Now I'm not too sure.