Notes from the Hawk

I am sick to death of people talking in movies.

People, it's one thing to talk in your own living room while watching TV or a DVD or whatever. It's entirely different to talk in a crowded movie theatre, where 400 other people are trying to enjoy the film.

Parents, I applaud your effort to engage your child about the movies he's passionate about. However, asking him to explain the movie while still in the theatre watching it is rude to the rest of us, and it makes you look like an idiot.

Kids*, I applaud your desire to make sure your parents can follow the plot, but quite frankly, if they can't, they're beyond hopeless. If you simply must talk to them, then WHISPER.

Teenagers: Shut. The. Frack. Up. No one cares that your chair is uncomfortable; so are theirs. No one cares that your popcorn is cold. No one cares that Jim snapped your bra at school yesterday, or that you think Daniel Radcliffe or Robert Pattinson is "teh Hottest" guy on screen. We only care that we are trying to enjoy the movie, and you're making that difficult.

Look, I get occasional whispers. But unless you're incapable of reducing the volume of your voice, I can't HEAR a whisper. I CAN hear normal, conversational tones. And they piss me off.

At least I didn't hear any damned cell phones ring.

*I know no kids are reading this. Nor are many parents. Oh well. My Snark must be given its time to fly.