Well, that's just shit, isn't it?

My grandfather has been a strong, able man for most of his 91 years. Two years ago, he had a stroke, and became mostly bedridden and unable to talk. He's been DNR for two years, and he left us instructions not to force him to live for years like this. So we're not.

Now he's dying.

This past Wednesday, he was non-responsive and had thrown up. My aunt had him transferred from his care home to the ER. There they found he had an infection in his bladder that had spread to his blood. My aunt didn't want to let go, so she had them give him antibiotics. Then on Friday she realized what she was doing--prolonging his suffering. These infections will happen over and over and over again. So she talked to the rest of us and we decided it was time. We've made the transition into comfort care, keeping him pain-free, but no more. No more medicine, no more treatments, no more anything.

And it sucks. It's what he wants, but it sucks watching a once-vital man, a man who could kick my ass well into his sixties, waste away. What's worse is that we haven't got a time frame. Because he's off his coumadin, he could throw a clot and stroke out. Or he could waste away if he doesn't wake up and eat and drink within the next two days. Or he could wake up, eat his meals, drink his drinks, and the next infection will get him.

We just don't know.

And that sucks.