Stupid Legislature Tricks

So. The California Legislature voted
to approve a No Cussing Week starting Monday.

I plan to cuss at least four times a day in protest of this kind of silly
nonsense.

I mean, really. The whole mess was started by this 16 year old kid, who
says, among other things, "People use cussing so frequently that they don't
even know it, but it really offends a lot of people."

Actually, kid, I know exactly when I cuss. So do most folks. And perhaps
the people who are so offended by it should recognize that it's not a knife
in their gut, or a penis in their face, but a word. And this
attitude that a word is offensive in and of itself is offensive to me as
both a teacher of English and a linguist.

This is even true of racial and sexual pejoratives. There is nothing
inherently offensive about the word "Faggot," for example. It's just
letters and sounds. What is offensive isn't the word, it's the
attitudes and beliefs behind the word. Context is everything. If I
call my ex-boyfriend a fag, he thinks it's funny. It's an old joke between
us, and the humor of me, who has been there, using it, makes him
laugh. If, however, some random asshole sees him in public, yells "Fag!" at
him, and moves on, that's offensive, because the context is totally
different. That person truly believes him to be less than a person.

Similarly, there are various contexts in which calling my wife "bitch" can
be anywhere from funny to grounds for my sleeping in the spare room.

Teenagers know this instinctively. Many black students will call each other
N----- (I censor it for lots of reasons: My Journal, My Rules). Now, to me,
that word has seriously bad connotations no matter what. My sister is black,
my aunt is black, I have been raised to consider that word a no-fly zone.
Consequently, I don't like it used in my classroom, partly because of my
own emotional response and also because while some students are ok with it,
not all are, and I have to be sensitive to that. But those same students
who use the word regularly with each other will not tolerate it from someone
who is using it abusively--and they can tell.

Anyway, the point of my rambling is really that this is a very stupid thing
for the state legislature to be doing. Feel free to debate in the comments,
but please understand I won't be able to reply to you until I get home this
evening. I can post from work via email, but I can't comment from work
(stupid district filters) and I didn't bring my smartphone (Probably it's
smarter than I am today).

10 Things That Parenting Is

Pareting is...

1. Crawling into bed with a two year-old who woke up scared and needs your
presence to reassure her, and not being resentful at the disturbance of your
sleep.

2. Turning the most mundane and disgusting bodily function into something
to celebrate--because like it or not, pooping in the potty like a big girl
is an accomplishment at that age.

3. Sacrifice. As painful as it sometimes is, your happiness and your
desires come second to your child's. So you don't get to go to movies as
often as you used to, and going out to dinner is often a campaign every bit
as planned-out as a military campaign. The good part is, this sacrifice
does not last forever.

4. Happiness. Nothing in the world--no boyfriend, no wife, no happiness
you can imagine--is as gratifying and soul-restoring as your little child
crawling up into your lap, throwing her arms around your neck, giving you a
kiss, and saying "Daddy, I love you so much!" Take it from
me--nothing compares to that, and all the 'tards at CF-Hardcore who
make a point of hating children will never understand that. It's what makes
that sacrifice I mentioned worth it.

5. Understanding that sometimes, it's ok to get angry. It's ok to have
days where the sacrifice hits you so hard you momentarily wish you didn't
have to do it. It's ok to not be the perfect parent, because newsflash:
nobody else is, either. As long as you don't ignore your child's needs,
you're still fine.

6. Being the Bad Guy. They can't have everything they want, and it's your
job to teach them that. And it sucks. It's actually heartwrenching
sometimes to tell your adored child that no, she cannot have another, and
it's often maddeningly difficult to listen to the screaming fit that comes
after. Being a parent means sometimes being willing to be the bad guy. And
no fair making your partner do it all the time--sometimes, it has to be you.


7. Having a full-time entertainer working to keep you happy. Because
believe it or not, kids LOVE to make their parents laugh. They know how
happy they are when they laugh, so they figure that'll make you happy, too.
And it does. Show me a parent who never laughs with their kid, and I'll
show you a bad parent.

8. Parenting is watching other people with their kids, and alternately
stealing their ideas and shaking your head at their antics. But remember,
new parents: Nobody wants to hear how they're doing it wrong.

9. Listening to the crazy ideas of your parents and your in-laws about how
you should be raising your kids, never mind that they weren't the best, and
never mind that they hated it when their in-laws and parents told
them what to do. For the love of god, I hope that if and when Tegan
has children, I don't try to tell her how to raise them. If I do, I hope
she tells me to shut up.

10. Lastly, parenting is looking forward to the day you can spoil your
grandkids as revenge on your child. ;)