The Dead Parent Club

In an episode of Gray's Anatomy last year--which, yeah, it's essentially a soap, but it's often well-written and it makes me happy, so shut up--a character's father died, and one of the other cast members had a conversation with him about it:

CRISTINA: "There's a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad died when I was nine. George, I'm really sorry you had to join the club."
GEORGE: "I... I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't."
CRISTINA: "Yeah, that never really changes."

And you know what? It's true. It's not just dads, it's any parent. We learn to cope, we learn to find that support we need from others, or within ourselves, and we move on because that's what you do, and the alternative is unthinkable... but we never really get used to living in that world.

A good friend and colleague of mine is watching her mother slip away, at this point. She's forty-smething years old, but she'll feel it, too. My heart goes out to her, because I understand.