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May. 12th, 2007 12:35 pm
More on the whole "monkey" thing.
It's hard, believe me, for a white person to admit that even if I'm not racist, it's understandable that someone who has had a lot of experience with racism might think I am when I say somethig like that comment the other day. It's hard to admit that just because I don't give a flying leap what color someone is, that doesn't mean no one does, and that doesn't mean the black man who talks to me in the morning knows I don't care. And it's hard to admit that sometimes, precisely because I'm not racist and don't think like that, that I might say things that hurt without even knowing it.
And you know, I think it's rather telling that the only non-mixed African-American on my friendslist that I am aware of didn't say anything. Brian, if I gave you a "stupid white boy" moment, please forgive me.
(Which is not to say, Nancy, that your opinion was not appreciated, but I would bet that you, raised here in California, have a different outlook than Brian, who was raised in the south).
There's an older AA gentleman, Mr. Nelson, here in my neighborhood who waves to all the AA people who drive by and wave to him. He never waves to us. And at first, this bothered me. I assumed he just didn't like white people. Then it hit me--I'm doing exactly what I get angry at; assuming racism when there's no reason to. It also occured to me that Mr. Nelson is very old, and lived through a lot of crap from white people, no doubt--and now here comes some white people, moving into a neighborhood that has been pretty non-white for many years. In his place, I might not want to make an effort, either. I'm sure the man is very nice; that doesn't mean he has to be nice to me. So now I nod politely to him, and say hello if the situation allows for it, and generally just try to be a nice neighbor. And someday he may say "hello" back, or he may never--and that's ok.
Whether we want to admit it or not, we "whites" are the recipients of privilege--even when we don't take it willingly, even when we grew up poor. "White privilege" doesn't mean we were wealthy growing up, or that we get special breaks others don't on a daily basis. Obviously, lots of poor white folks are just as economically screwed as poor minorities, and just as obviously, some minorities are doing just as well as wealthy white people.
What "white privilege" means is that if I walk into a store, nobody just assumes I'm up to no good. But you know what? I watch people, especially when I'm in malls, and I've seen the looks non-white patrons get in some--not all, but some--stores. That's privilege. If two teenagers apply for the same job, and all other things are equal, how many of you think the black teen is going to get the same chance of hire as the white teen if the manager is white--and even if he's not, in some cases. If you think it's equal, then you weren't paying attention when high-end clothing outlets got into trouble for putting the minority staff in the stockroom and having only the white "pretty" people in the storefronts.
This is why I tell my students they must become active. They must vote. They must become part of--and change--the system that has caused them such grief, because until they do, it will not stop.
I'm not saying we're as bad in this country as we were 50 years ago, but look--on TV, if a black man and a white woman hook up, there may not be an outcry, but you can bet it gets mentioned in the magazines, and in articles. People in this country still want to know what the actors think about that, and it's still treated as news. Contrast this to England, where multi-racial couples on tv have become so utterly common it's just not talked about (at least, so far as I can determine from the US; Brits and American ex-pats over there should feel free to tell me if I'm wrong here).
That ought to tell you we still have a long way to go.
All I can do, I suppose, is try not to offend, and teach my children--and my student--right in hopes that a few more generations down the road, this kind of thing will be a thing of the past.
And you know, I think it's rather telling that the only non-mixed African-American on my friendslist that I am aware of didn't say anything. Brian, if I gave you a "stupid white boy" moment, please forgive me.
(Which is not to say, Nancy, that your opinion was not appreciated, but I would bet that you, raised here in California, have a different outlook than Brian, who was raised in the south).
There's an older AA gentleman, Mr. Nelson, here in my neighborhood who waves to all the AA people who drive by and wave to him. He never waves to us. And at first, this bothered me. I assumed he just didn't like white people. Then it hit me--I'm doing exactly what I get angry at; assuming racism when there's no reason to. It also occured to me that Mr. Nelson is very old, and lived through a lot of crap from white people, no doubt--and now here comes some white people, moving into a neighborhood that has been pretty non-white for many years. In his place, I might not want to make an effort, either. I'm sure the man is very nice; that doesn't mean he has to be nice to me. So now I nod politely to him, and say hello if the situation allows for it, and generally just try to be a nice neighbor. And someday he may say "hello" back, or he may never--and that's ok.
Whether we want to admit it or not, we "whites" are the recipients of privilege--even when we don't take it willingly, even when we grew up poor. "White privilege" doesn't mean we were wealthy growing up, or that we get special breaks others don't on a daily basis. Obviously, lots of poor white folks are just as economically screwed as poor minorities, and just as obviously, some minorities are doing just as well as wealthy white people.
What "white privilege" means is that if I walk into a store, nobody just assumes I'm up to no good. But you know what? I watch people, especially when I'm in malls, and I've seen the looks non-white patrons get in some--not all, but some--stores. That's privilege. If two teenagers apply for the same job, and all other things are equal, how many of you think the black teen is going to get the same chance of hire as the white teen if the manager is white--and even if he's not, in some cases. If you think it's equal, then you weren't paying attention when high-end clothing outlets got into trouble for putting the minority staff in the stockroom and having only the white "pretty" people in the storefronts.
This is why I tell my students they must become active. They must vote. They must become part of--and change--the system that has caused them such grief, because until they do, it will not stop.
I'm not saying we're as bad in this country as we were 50 years ago, but look--on TV, if a black man and a white woman hook up, there may not be an outcry, but you can bet it gets mentioned in the magazines, and in articles. People in this country still want to know what the actors think about that, and it's still treated as news. Contrast this to England, where multi-racial couples on tv have become so utterly common it's just not talked about (at least, so far as I can determine from the US; Brits and American ex-pats over there should feel free to tell me if I'm wrong here).
That ought to tell you we still have a long way to go.
All I can do, I suppose, is try not to offend, and teach my children--and my student--right in hopes that a few more generations down the road, this kind of thing will be a thing of the past.