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When Online RPGs Attack!Having been exposed to all varieties of morons, idiots, fucktards, and the emotionally stunted for over 5 years, in the format of MUSH Twinks. And in that time, I've noticed several varieties of the Twink. After a little work, I've written up this report, detailing the different subspecies of the Twink.
The TS Fiend
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Perpetually horny and most likely a social retard, the TS Fiend hangs out in bars, idling, waiting for the first person of the opposite sex to pay them the slightest bit of attention, so they can show off their @desc loaded with things like, "Ample Breasts, Firm Buttocks, Throbbing Bulges, and (Note-App 4+)" and toss off a few horrid one-liners, before running off to the first marginally private(or public) place, to pose sucking, fucking, and groping. That about sums up the TS Fiend. Instead of actually trying to develop a character or perhaps a personality, they apparently aren't pleased with Cybersex chats, wanting to put how big their cock is, how large their breasts are, and how good they are in bed in stats. These people are the acting-equivelant of Porn Stars, without the mutton chop sideburns or intelligent dialouge.
The Incredible Hulk
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These are your standard combat twinks. People that think Dragon Ball Z has a plot and depth. Often mixable with the TS Fiend, the Incredible Hulk bristles with lethal weapons in broad daylight(Katanas and Desert Eagles come to mind), better at crunching numbers than a Microsoft Accountant, the Incredible Hulk puts every last point to optimal use in waiting for fights in crowded bars so he can mow down PC's like they were cattle in a slaughter house. So mind-numbing idiotic, the Incredible Hulk can easily be identified by his desc which more than likely includes a black trenchcoat, rippling muscles, or wearing outfits that you'd probably see at a Montana Compound. Backgrounds are usually all the same, he/she was an ex-kickboxer/mafiaso/soldier/assassin/wrestler/etc, which goes on and on to detail how bad-ass the character is. These kind of people that were probably beaten around in school, but didn't have the balls to stockpile firearms like any other high school Gen Y moron and go shoot up their school.
Freak of the Week
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These are people that think by making themselves as freakish and unbelievable as possible, they are making three-dimensional characters. Such as a Homid Red Talon, a Baali Antitribu, or a Technophobic Virtual Adept. I don't know what kind of bizarre mentality generates gamers like this, but I'm sure it involves alot of glue-sniffing, childhood sexual abuse, and blunt trauma to the head.
The Pro
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Be it electronics, the occult, computers, fighting, or just general control, the Pro has to be the best of the best of the best of the best. Any attempt to contest their l33tness, In Character or Out of Character, shatters what little fragile shell of sanity they did have, driving them into fits of babbling insanely, and attempting to destroy the character of the person that dared defy them. Number-Crunching, Using OOC Info, nothing is too low for the Pro to achieve his goals to be the best.
The Genre Whiner
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Anal Retentive to the point you couldn't pull a pin out of their ass with a tractor, the Genre Whiner meticulously grooms over every book, creating this perfect little World in his mind, the exact opposite of the Freak of the Week. If you so much as falter from any stereotype laid out in the book in black and white, the Genre Whiner's little world collaspses, leaving him pissed off and ready to verbally abuse the 'twinky bastard' that didn't do things his way. Don't ever hope to play a Brujah that isn't a black ghetto thug always shouting about 'The Man', or a Dreamspeaker that isn't a Native American Shaman, it's just unthinkable, at least to the Genre Whiner.
The Diva
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With severe self-esteem problems IRL, more than likely, the Diva is just gorgeous. Not so much as a full-fledged twink than a Cliche, they pop up all over MUSHes. Common symptoms:Appearances of 4+, Fame as a Model or Actress, etc. Apparently, the Diva reads too much Entertainment Weekly and Cosmopolitan when making their character.
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