johnstonmr: (Default)
I had another run-in with the Third Way, over in the Eureka system of the Badlands cluster. The Mwari need pilots, since their battles with the Marauders have been decimating their ranks, and if our coalition is going to do any good, we need 500 of the best.

So anyway, I've been schleping around a lot of crap for the Third Way, and I've been putting up with their insults, but when I showed up last night, the bitch in charge at Eureka's System Administration Station said "Lower Caste person... just because you have aided us in the past does not grant you the right to be here. Leave."

That did it. I flipped my comm system on and let her have it. "Now just a damn minute," said I, "I'm done with this crap. I've been working my ass off to help you people, and I'm sick to death of your 'lower caste' insults. Now you have two choices -- I can go back to my allies and tell them to pull out of your space so you bigoted dirt farmers can just die out, or we can talk about how our two sides can work together to beat the Marauders. Now what's it going to be?" Or words to that effect. I think what I actually said was more pissy, but time has softened the memory. In any case, they decided to talk, and will be sending 100 pilots.

So lessee... 100 from them, 100 from the Firefrost system... 300 more to go.

Smith, get the PatCom fired up, we're going back out! And make sure you charge the Particle Beam Cannons this time!
johnstonmr: (Default)
"We" being sci-fi geeks

I'm watching (for lack of anything better to do) "The Guiness Records" show. This guy has just set a record for the "most scorpions in his mouth."

Now, where I lived as a child, there were lots of scorpions. One of the first things my father taught me about hiking and living in such a place was stay the frell away from Scorpions!!!!. And this bozo is putting them in his mouth. I wondered why he'd do such a thing. I guess there are some people who would be impressed with him for this, but I'm not thinking it's going to get him any dates:

Girl in bar: So, what do you do?

Freak: "Well, I'm a plumber. But I hold a world record."

GiB: (looks impresed) Really? In what?

Freak: I put 20 scorpions in my mouth.

GiB looks at him blankly, then collects her stuff and walks away swiftly.
johnstonmr: (Default)
I found out this morning there was an infestation of Species 8472 in my backyard.

Now, as both the Borg and the crew of the U.S.S. Voyager have discovered, Species 8472 is a nasty bunch of buggers. Nearly ten feet tall, telepathic, from another dimension entirely, they have an incredibly dense molecular structure that makes them pretty resistant to the standard energy weapons. My usual PPG would be useless.

So, I sighed and picked up my trusty Tetryon Disruptor. These are great little toys. Autofire, highly destructive, and the alternate fire mode can ricochet, which is great when you're hunting slurgs on the moons of Vega Minor. I got mine off a dead Hirogen who'd been hunting me through a 100 year old Starship from an alternative dimension, but you can pick them up at Uncle Aki's Used Weaponry and Witchcraft Supplies, located in the Bazaar at Deva. Just watch your pockets, that Aki's a thief and a half.

Anyway, with the Tetryon Disruptor, the buggers were nothing big. They fall down really really fast when you fill them full of little green bolts of light.

Just thought you should know. =:)


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